Green Death by Madeleine Ribbon

Author:Madeleine Ribbon [Ribbon, Madeleine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780990320746
Published: 2018-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TEN

I stopped paying attention to things like time and personal hygiene about halfway through the second week. The rages took so much out of me. I’d turned almost catatonic in the evenings. Instead of wasting energy on washing up or cleaning, I’d use what little I had on making increasingly half-hearted notes and observations. The room was starting to smell like sweat and fear. I didn’t know how Levee handled it.

There were a few triggers they kept testing me for, but the one they repeated the most was a test focused on sex and arousal. They sent in naked men. Sometimes two of them. Sometimes the men were holograms. Sometimes they weren’t. They’d talk dirty. They’d touch themselves and each other. Live porn. And for me, stuck in a room without much privacy, this alone seemed like torture.

But they’d always, always attack me. They’d fly at me, rage in their eyes, fists pulled back for a punch. Or the flesh-and-blood versions would tackle me, or manhandle me, a bit like Cordon had. Always, there would be the threat of violence, and my horny little self would immediately switch to rage mode. Violent rage, not sexual—not like when I’d nearly pulled Riot into his own, so long ago.

Still, I couldn’t work out how to stop the darkness from taking over. Levee talked me through my counting, talked me through coping strategies, but I couldn’t seem to make them stick.

And I was starting to think I was hallucinating half of the men’s appearances, they’d come in so often.

On the day I decided to leave the testing center—day twelve? Day thirteen? I couldn’t remember—they triggered me four times. I felt broken. Shattered from the inside out. I’d barely been able to move. My mind felt like a scratching post a herd of cats were taking apart. I could barely think. It was even harder to care.

I couldn’t do it. I had to go. I had to keep at least some of my sanity intact. At least the Wild Ones would kill me before I went completely insane.

I dragged myself off the floor and toward the door.

“Tryg?”

The voice came from behind me. Familiar, but distant. I whirled around and pressed my back to the door.

Another man. Another attacker.

And this time, he looked like Riot.

Fuck.

It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t. I had to be hallucinating. Or it had to be a projection. It couldn’t be him, not flesh and blood, not here, not during testing—

But if it really was him, and I raged, I’d trigger him too.

I ran through the numbers. I breathed. I crouched down and watched carefully as Riot came toward me, naked, muscled chest gleaming like he’d just finished working out. His cock hung heavy between his legs, half-way hard.

I looked away.

I wanted him. The rage pulsed around the edges of my vision, already so close to the surface after all the shit they’d thrown at me today. I wanted him, and I wanted to run, and I hated the masters for putting me through this horrible never-ending test and dragging Riot into it too.

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